| January 12 2012 | for everyone |
12th
of January already……….and it’s taken me this long to feel ‘back to
normal’. I’ve had my daughter and her son staying, I’ve stayed with my
other daughter and her children, I’ve had my grandchildren (plus dog)
staying with me AND I’ve managed to find the time to catch up with a
couple of good friends. 
The grandchildren helped pack away the decorations, we walked along the beach and they spent a while painting on some of my spare canvas. By the time my daughter came to stay I had my newly decorated bedroom ready for her, she was most impressed with my decorating achievements and quite proud to be the first one to sleep in the new room.
I even managed to stay with a friend for a couple of days. We spend one damp and stormy afternoon driving around the glens. It was actually very pleasant in the glens, and beautiful. The colour and light up there at this time of year is quite different to those pleasant sunny scenes you find on calendars. I never find the Christmas holidays much of a ‘holiday’ as such, it’s always a busy time, it tends to be hectic but very enjoyable.
Now every one has gone back to their own homes, I’ve no one staying here and I’m not staying with any one else, so here I am, back to normal, just me, on my own, in my own little flat. Now my house guests have all left I’ve moved myself and my furniture into my new bedroom. My daughters were very practical this Christmas, they bought me vouchers which were used to buy all the finishing touches for my new bedroom, new curtains, a new lamp and a little heater for when the wind is howling and it’s a bit chilly.
I’m back at work, in fact it feels as if I were never away from the place and on my wall at work there is a chart. I made the chart last term but I’ve only just got around to pinning it to the wall. It’s a countdown to retirement chart. I’ve worked out that I have another 14 paydays before retirement and this chart has each payday in a square ready to be crossed off as soon as the pay slip lands on my desk. 14 paydays doesn’t sound very long.
I’m preparing to start decorating again. It’s time to tackle the other bigger room, the one that I was using as a bedroom. That room is my biggest room and will be somewhat of a challenge. Now that my living room is decorated and I’ve moved into the ‘new’ smaller bedroom, the plan is to strip the big room back to plaster, decorate from scratch and use it as a studio. A place where I can store all my painting, drawing and craft equipment and where I can paint without having to clean up and put every thing away after every session. It will also double up as a guest room but that’s ok because most of the time it will just be my studio.
I look forward to retirement but at the same time have become acutely aware of the value of each day.
Every night I realise that one more day of my life is over, it’s a scary thought. Time is something you can’t get back and so even thought I look forward to retirement I want to find a way to value every day between now and then. Some days I wake up, get ready, make the ten minute walk to work, spend the day doing things for other people and then make the ten minute walk home, by which time the day is done and the light is fading. On these days I feel cheated, a bit like when you buy something you can’t really afford only to get it home and realise you wasted your money and have no way of getting that money back. Time is more precious than money and I’m really getting to hate it when I reach the end of the day and feel as if the day is wasted. One more day of my life has passed, a day I will never get back, and if I can’t remember any thing special about that day, I feel cheated. Which is why, even if I only walk from my house to my work and back again, and even if I’m only out of my house for less than half an hour, I’m going to look for something that I can think of at the end of the day that will make me think the day wasn’t wasted. Maybe I will even take my camera with me and make sure I take at least one picture a day. One picture of something good every day could be a balance to the inevitability of life being one day shorter. Because my life is shorter at the end of every day it must also be richer in some way. Otherwise what’s the point??
19 Comments
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Sounds
like a pretty busy Christmas/New Year period!! Hope the decorating
goes well. I have to start up again on this place soon, there's still a
fair old bit to do yet.
Although I'm not as close to retirement as you, I really do understand what you are saying. Only this week, I've witnessed from the windows at work several glorious sunsets plus an early morning foggy sunrise, all of which I should have been out enjoying and photographing, not glimpsing in between endless phone calls. By the time I get out the day is over and nothing to show for it. |
forgetmenot525 wrote on Jan 13
lol... yeah me too...............she took it home but the more I look at it the more I think I should have kept it,.
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forgetmenot525 wrote on Jan 13
djdx said
 How do you measure waste in this area? If you have done something good, the day is not wasted. 
thats
such a good question, I guess what I mean is that I need something to
hang on to from every day that makes me feel good. its quite a selfish
quest really, I don't mind if the 'feel good' factor comes from
interaction with other people, from the sound of bird song, from a good
sky or from spending time with a friend. It could be any thing at all,
but if the end of the day comes and I can't recall a single 'feel good'
moment................I feel cheated, and as if my time was thrown away.
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brendainmad wrote on Jan 13
P.S.
Meant to also say, I like your granddaughter's smile and picture too.
Oh, I see my card on the shelf behind her. Glad it got there.
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brendainmad wrote on Jan 13
I
still enjoy giving class and feel that doing so gets me out and doing
something not to mention that it helps pay my billls. Like most people, I
enjoy having free time but that's something that perhaps I waste. I
have a sink full of dirty dishes and here I am on the internet. LOL. I
love that sketcth you've done. I'm always attracted by blues and greens.
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I've
been noticing a lot of people noticing this passing of time lately
including myself. Sounds like you have a nice house full and even got
decorating done-that's great. Sounds like a great project to create a
studio for yourself. I know what you mean about having to clean up. Each
time I work on a project for my craft business I must clean up
everything each time as it doubles as our dining area. I wish you a very
happy retirement & many wonderful moments. Taking a pic. a day
sounds like a good idea. enjoy ~
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How
poignant! I've often had that feeling of time passing by and wondering
how to capture it. Pictures do it for me as well as journaling. And
also, because you work with children, and are so important to them, a
day that you might not remember might be a day in which you have done
something unforgettable in the life of a child.
Love your pictures, especially the second from the bottom. Exquisite. |
greenwytch wrote on Jan 13
your
Hols sound as busy, fun and hectic as mine were, too! i am so glad for
all of you. what very good and profound realizations you have
had....the beginning of this year seems to be doing that for alot of us
this time around. be well, darlin'. HUGS
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starfishred wrote on Jan 12
Ah wonderful news that all is well with you love the paintings wonderful including the budding nre artist in the wings
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forgetmenot525 wrote on Jan 12
thanks..........I
love that one too, I let her take it home but now I'm wishing I had
kept it and hung it on the wall. I think it was supposed to represent
me, her and her brother.
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artprevails wrote on Jan 12
This
is a meaningful and heart touching blog. I do understand and agree
that every day is to be cherished. Time advances incredibly fast if we
don't savor every day, every moment really. I like the idea of photos
for every day.
Your retirement will come soon but your life is now...I am hearing you say that. I am honored to be your friend! I wish you 14 paychecks to find new ways to embrace all that is precious so that the time beyond those paychecks will be an extension of your way of living in the moment:) |
forgetmenot525 wrote on Jan 12
rabbitfriendhere said
I
so understand what you say about not wanting to waste a single moment
of your life. I think though that even a smile shared with someone makes
a day worth while. It really is that simple. So remember to smile! I
absolutely love your photos of where you live. So beautiful!!!
thanks,
you are right of course...............sometimes its just hard to
remember at the end of the day what has happened to make that day
worthwhile.
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rabbitfriendhere wrote on Jan 12
I
so understand what you say about not wanting to waste a single moment
of your life. I think though that even a smile shared with someone makes
a day worth while. It really is that simple. So remember to smile! I
absolutely love your photos of where you live. So beautiful!!!
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